Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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