She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
