if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
