I'm jealous of your bromance
i already hear my dad disowning me
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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