I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
