She said her name was "party"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
