oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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