There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
