god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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