So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
