theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
