I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
