dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
