Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
