Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She just used a chaser for red wine.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
