i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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