so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
