Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
