No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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