i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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