Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
