Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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