I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
