You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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