Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
