we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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