Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize
