Plan B is the new Plan A
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
