Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
