Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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