this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
