had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
