OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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