maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
