the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
