lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
