so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
