i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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