you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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