I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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