Cold hands, warm shart.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
