Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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