She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
