Having a random hookup so left but love u
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
