Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
