Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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