Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
