I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
