NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
