its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
