His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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