i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
